Advice for Surviving "Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?"

Adapted from that given for the Running of the Bulls, San Fermin, Spain (

If you're reading this then it means you are probably a Eurodance fan hooked on the excitement of "Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?" This totally chaotic event has its own particular norms and rules of behavior despite the fact that it seems to be something wild and out of control. There are certain facts to keep in mind before you dive into your "E or E?" experience. Here are some practical hints to help you come out safe and well.

THE DAUNTING STEP OF ENTERING THE CLUB is not just a question of jumping over the fence at any old place along the property line. You should look for an official "door" either on the Southern or Eastern sides of the house. The local municipal police won't have much tolerance for anyone climbing over the fence any old way. Look for a proper entrance point. (A useful piece of information: The local police have the annoying habit of swinging their batons with apparent glee as they attempt to clear the street of the milling crowd.)

RUNNING THROUGH THE CLUB ON A DRUNKEN SPREE IS TOTALLY OUT OF ORDER. It's just plain stupid and a danger both to yourself as well as to others. Dancing in a drunken stupor is OK.

BE AWARE OF WHAT�S GOING ON AROUND YOU. Keep a constant eye on the distance between you and the other "E or E?" partiers. They'll be up your ass before you know it. At the same time, be aware of the clubbers in front of you, particularly fallen ones who can easily trip you up. Look for the place where you plan to pull out. It's all quite hectic and complicated in a very short space of time.

DON'T TRY TO CATCH THE DJ�S ATTENTION. This is highly dangerous. In theory, the DJ doesn't want to tangle with anyone. He just wants to get out of that tight enclosed space behind the decks as quickly as possible. If he is not distracted by anything, he will follow a straight path all the way to the kitchen. But if you distract him, and he gets separated from the group, things could get deadly serious and come to a bad end. Bad for you, maybe, but also bad for the other clubbers.

Making any stupid attempt to catch the DJ's attention tends to rouse the anger of the other clubbers so that, even if the DJ doesn't take any notice of you, it's likely that the other clubbers will and you could end up being their punching bag. It's not that we want to condone violence in any way, but in this case their violent response is more than understandable. That kind of stupid behavior could cost the life of somebody.

SHOULD YOU TRIP UP IN THE CLUB - STAY DOWN. A trip-up is more than likely to happen - for a number of reasons. As we have said, the DJ doesn't particularly want to tangle with anyone. If a DJ sees a fallen lump in front of him, he's likely to step on it and keep going. And his other five mates will do the same and that's that. You'll probably come out with a few heavy bruises, but nothing more serious than that. But, if you try to get up or move straight away, this could cause the DJ to take notice of you. Even worse, if you get up right in the path of the DJ, he could go through you as clean as a knife cuts thorough butter. This, in fact, is what happened to the last "E or E?" fatality in May.

DON'T RUN BEHIND THE VJ. A lot of people seem to want to keep running even after the VJ has passed them. The only thing that can serve is to possibly distract a VJ who might notice any movement behind him and create the risk of his turning round.

DON'T ATTEMPT TO TOUCH THE DJ/VJ. A lot of people seem to want to touch the DJ/VJ for some strange reason. They shouldn't be touched even in the slightest way, as there is another potential risk in distracting their attention.

DON'T STAND STILL ON THE DANCE FLOOR. When everyone starts dancing, you must dance too. If not, you could cause others to fall or trip up against you. If you want to be a spectator, stay on the other side of the club. The only reason you enter the dance floor is to dance.

FAN OUT WHEN YOU RUN ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR. Spread out when you get through the entrance to the dance floor and head for the barriers round the edge of the ring. In this way you will keep the space clear for other dancers.

Furthermore, in the event that either the DJ or VJ suffers an accident, or, for whatever other reason, one of them "loses" himself or remains "unattached" to the herd, the clubbers should listen to the instructions of the technical personnel on hand.

So, now you should be somewhat better prepared to attend "E or E?" Do you still fancy the idea? Or does it all sound too complicated? Remember that all this advice is just to make sure you are not going to be a disturbance to the other clubbers or to Fortress King Pigeon personnel during your stay.

And the last piece of advice is simply to remember the fact that the clubbers are taking their lives in their hands when they dance. Should you put their lives in danger through some stupidity of yours, then you are only going to give yourself problems.

Now, get ready to have fun!

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